Tag Archives: rant

5 Reasons Why I Dislike Instagram

Hello, I haven’t made a post in a little while as my mind has been in other areas, such as learning a lot of new vocabulary for Japanese, preparing for my Human Rights and Sociolinguistics subject this semester, and dealing with some financial issues. Anyway, what I am going to be discussing with you today is an idea which was recommended to me by a friend (Her blog is at http://eternalwayfarer.blogspot.com.au/), and a lot of points I agree with.

The discussion of today, quite obvious from the heading of this article, is going to list 5 main reasons why I don’t like Instagram. In summary:

It is pointless
It feeds narcissism
It stunts in-person interaction
It encourages people to seek validation
The filters make amateurs think they’re photographers

1. It is pointless

So, what exactly does Thommy Dee mean by Instagram being pointless? Well. I have gone back onto Instagram for a week now to see what it is like, and I can pretty much say that you can do everything that you do on Instagram on other forms of social networking. Upload a photo? Facebook. Comment on a photo? Facebook. Like a photo? Facebook. It basically has the same features as Facebook, but less. On Facebook you can also check into places, you can chat to people on a live form of interaction (Facebook chat), you can also choose moods and list what you’re doing when you post a status (WITH a photo!!), and share things. So in terms of function, Facebook is most certainly winning because it ticks all the boxes Instagram does, but more.

“Oh, but Facebook etiquette states that I can’t post too many facebook statuses about my daily life…”
Now now Jimmy, calm down, we aren’t up to reason two just yet.

2. It feeds narcissism

It’s a given that any form of social networking is going to be seething pot of narcissism; these narcissistic black holes which suck everything around it inside, compress it down to a deathly state (or takes it to another universe, who knows?) and then grow larger and destroy even more around it until all you’re left with is an empty universe full of black holes. The hunger for these black holes to get bigger and bigger will also feed into the fourth reason in this discussion. But at the moment, let’s just go over this point.

If social networking is a seething pot of narcissism and a black hole, then Instagram is a pot bubbling out of control, splurting toxic liquid in all directions, and is the size of a supermassive black hole.

Going back into the first point of Instagram being pointless: it­ is basically just people posting up photos, and most of the time these are photos of daily occurrences in people’s lives. You are naked in your bedsheets, oh well, the world needs to know. You are having a 10am coffee at a trendy hipster café, oh the world certainly needs to know. You’re going underwear shopping, OH LORD YES THE WORLD NEEDS TO KNOW THEN. Nothing gets my gay gears grinding on more than knowing a lady is buying some new frilly undies with a cupcake over their caboose regions.

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I think now you are getting to see the point. But if not, I will take you on a trip back down my memory lane. It was a sunny January day (where I got sunburnt for three days just spending 10 minutes waiting for a train to get into Melbourne), and I met up with one of my also gay male friends to have a Starbucks frappuccino. Anyway, I met up with him, and we both got green tea frappuccinos and decided to sit down in the shade outside. I was about to drink my frappuccino when this guy told me “Oh, I have to take a photo of my frappuccino to put on Instagram.” So, pulling faces like an assortment of farm animals in selfie-mode, picture 1, 2, 3, 4…7…16…18…573
“I didn’t get the starbucks logo on it correctly”
“Uh my eyes look weird”
“The straw covered my face too much”
“You look too pale in the photo”

15 minutes just to take a good photo WHERE HE FINALLY LET ME DRINK THE FRAPPUCCINO I PAID FOR. He then spent 10 more minutes trying to find the perfect filter to put on the photo.

So, basically, there are people who base themselves on the number of followers they get on Instagram, and then think that because they have a number like that, then their life is more important than other peoples, and so they must promote that life and they constantly admire themselves and expect others to kiss their feet.

I can only imagine how many more image obsessed people there are out there like this, and how much time out of their day is used to feed their own narcissism and promote their own life like it is a cat walk.

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3. It stunts in-person interaction

With my story in the last reason still fresh in your mind, let’s go over the next reason. Now, for those who are a part of my generation (or a little bit older, as the addiction to smartphone use has spread up to many middle-aged businessmen I come across on public transport), raise your hand if you have ever felt your in-person interaction has been stunted or ruined because of someone using social media on their smartphones 24/7.

Just as I thought, yes.

I’ve gone across some dates with guys where they have half-interested, half paid attention and then half-arsed the date because in their hand they have been using a form of social media, one of them including Instagram (I certainly don’t go on a second date with people like that). To narrow it down to Instagram even more, I’m grateful I have not come across many Instragram addicts in my life, but the ones I have come across take pictures of every meal they have outside home, of every place that they go to, and then of anything they like in a store. Then they spend extra time getting the perfect filter (please just choose Valencia and get the fuck on with your life). It makes the time with them I’m supposed to be spending socialising then feel like a pageant of their life and I’m just there to feed what’s more important to them; their likes and followers. Sorry, but that’s not social interaction – not in the way I want it.

4. It encourages people to seek validation

Feeding narcissism for those who want others to kiss their ass, Instagram also promotes those who are insecure about the popularity of their life to then post many images of their life. These pictures then, they hope, make them popular and a sensation, and so it then makes that person seek validation on Instagram. There are no limits to how many photos one can take, so then pointless photos and images bombard the app like shrapnel.

Yes, it is nice to take a photo of an event occurring in your life for the sake of the memory, but when you are taking a photo and uploading it just for validation, then that’s where there begins to become a problem.

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And those who do take photos, and those who do get likes/favourites on their photos, and comments, then want to place themselves above those who don’t get many. It’s the way the human ego goes. And so this political society is made within the social network. So then, people are based upon how much attention and validation they receive from other people, and they construct their image on that.

Then people try and live their life like those who do get more likes (If I’m like them I’ll get more likes and followers and get attention), and so it promotes this image-based lifestyle: Tanning on the beach, spending money on expensive things, eating out all the time, going clubbing every weekend. Because Instagram is just posting about your life, and how others see that life.

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I have had people get upset because they don’t get many likes on their pictures, and then I’ve had stories of people basing other people on how many likes/followers they get on Instagram. Then I’ve had people brag about how many followers they have on Instagram. I don’t mean to sound like a bitch, but if you’re that insecure that you base your worth on other people’s validation and your number of followers – then you need a reality check, or perhaps a psychologist.

5. The filters make amateurs think they’re photographers

Okay, don’t get me wrong, I like some of the lighter filters because they help to clear out the imperfections in my skin. I do this when I take pictures to change my profile pictures on facebook, BUT I do know that that does NOT make me a photographer. The part of Instagram which also annoys me, and the last reason in this opinion piece: The filters that blur out the details in the photos, details that some may seem undesirable, make people think they’re amazing at taking photos.

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And then because some of these people think that they’re amazing at taking photos (because the filters make the photos look ‘mellow’), they should take ten thousand. And then upload them all (Notice me senpai). Some of the heavier filters just make the photos look tacky.

If you also want to see a video perfectly depicting something else wrong with my generation (I’m the cut-off of Generation Y and Generation Z), then this video perfectly describes it:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kdemFfbS5H0

Thank you for reading.

Go to university, they said. It’s the best time of your life, they said.

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Whilst I sit here, in the midst of studying for my exams (and also learning words and sentence structures in Mandarin, which I study outside of university – 我要喝什么?), I just cannot help but think of the past year and a half which has comprised my experience at university. I remember my first day of classes, spend half an hour trying to find the rooms where each of my lectures were held. Everything seemed so fresh, and new, and invigorating, and I was too shy to talk to anyone in any of my classes, but yet dying to say hello to the person next to me in any of my lectures to make new friends (I had shit friends in year 12 who forgot I even breathed as soon as I graduated – and my friends from my other high school in years 7-11 go to different universities or are in high school still).

*sigh* I wish now that I could still have that optimism. In the past 15 months of having a university education, my hope for humanity, my look on the world, and my enjoyment of tertiary education has slowly been spiraling downhill.
No, it is not what I am studying. I LOVE what I am studying. Linguistics is amazing. I love learning Japanese at university and Mandarin outside of university, and my subjects in my Asian Studies major are amazing too. So it is not that at all, as I am always in fascination and inspiration about what I learn. But, so then, what it is?

Part of the reason is the people. At this point I will proceed to outline some of the problems I have faced with the community and culture at university and how it has not made me feel very welcome or happy when I go onto campus and begin to think about people.


University: High School 2.0?

At university, the students are quite adamant on making people think that they have moved on from the bitch dramas and immaturity of high school. But I don’t know if it’s the fact that a lot of university students are still a bunch of entitled overgrown teenagers still living with their parents; but anyway. I’ve noticed that this “passed high school” mentality results in an inflated ego and a sense of elitism that spreads across a lot of students who go to university. But alongside that, I’ve noticed from the way a lot of students at university behave,

They still behave like teenagers, not young adults. 

You still get the students in university who are like “Oh my god, _____ is such a bitch. Did you know what she did at that party over the weekend? [Insert overstressed voiceless velar fricative here]”
Half of my god-damn psychology lectures, I was surrounded by this banter.

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But I dropped out of Psychology after first year for Asian Studies and Linguistics, so it’s all good :3

Then you have the university students who are gym-obsessed and who only stay around other people like that. You also get the university students who judge others for how skinny they are, and then you get the university students who judge others on their grades, their IQ (which isn’t even a measure of intelligence that’s as great as everyone thinks), their socio-economic status (I will get into this soon), or even their ethnicity.

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I’ve even had people judge me for the way I’ve conducted myself in some of my tutorials. If you’ve read in my previous blog post, I have not exactly had the best mental health this semester. In one tutorial, I was asked a question, I couldn’t answer it, and I didn’t want the attention on me because I felt genuinely shit that day. Then an hour after that class, I was walking around campus when I overheard two girls murmuring to each other “Ahaha, it’s that weird idiot in class who was asked that question.”
I’m not sure about you, but to me that sounds like the way a bunch of ‘popular’ fifteen year old girls behave. Get the fuck over yourself.

Subtle Discrimination

I’ve also noticed that I’ve been avoided on the basis on my social class or my ethnicity. I’m going to sound like an elitist by saying this happens when I’m a Caucasian. But it DOES. I go out of my effort to make friends with the internationals and make them feel welcome. I love learning about new cultures, coming across new people, and making friends with them. But half of the time, I’m received with weird looks, and then slowly pushed out of the conversation, and then ignored. Also, in my tutorials, when it comes to group projects (especially in Japanese), or group exercises in class, the international students avoid having me in their groups. I don’t know if it’s because as a white Australian, I’m just going to be innately bad at learning an Asian language. I don’t know. But it makes me feel like shit. I’m sick of it. I even had one international from southern China in one of my tutorials speak to me loudly and slowly because he thought I had a mental condition. Thanks.
Oh, and the time last year in Japanese I was laughed at when I suggested to the class that I was going to start a study group. That was amazing. Thanks for that, too.

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Then you get it on the other side too, sometimes. And it makes internationals feel like they don’t belong.

It even happens in one of my subjects from the faculty, I suspect, but I’m not going to go into that.


Elitism

I’m sure it isn’t that common in other universities, but I go to a university that continually boasts itself to be the best university in the country from ranking surveys and the like. Therefore, you get a lot of people who want to validate their egos by pointing out of the fact that they go to a university of this calibre. On facebook pages about the university, like confession pages and meme pages, that are operated by students (most likely), you often find confessions, memes or comments that are insulting other universities, or degrading the traits and intelligence of those who go to other universities. It makes me really angry. It’s made me quite bitter towards a lot of the people who go to the university I do and like to make a scene of it.
Get the fuck over yourselves.


Tutorials

It’s not the tutorials as a whole that I hate. But there’s three things I hate about the tutorials I attend. The first is the fact all the students remain silent and are not interactive. The second is that in every tutorial there is that one entitled annoying person who never shuts up, and thinks that everything he/she says is honours material and liquid gold oozing out into the air around them.

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Thirdly is the fact that all the students are latently judging everything you say. If you say something wrong or not up to their mental standards, then chances are you will be avoided and deemed as the ‘class idiot’. Even if you ask questions. Which leads back to the first point of everyone remaining quiet in a tutorial. This could be solved if we all grew up.


University is FUN if you’re poor!!!!!! Ahahaha NOT

University students have the stereotype of being poor. But then, there are balls that come up that cost money, there’s events that cost money, then a good half of the events on campus that are social basically cost money. So it means that if you are to have a social life on campus, you have to have money. If you don’t; well then you’re like me sitting at home writing angry spiteful envious blog posts about university.

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I would like to attend some of the events, but it simply can’t happen because I’m not in the financial situation, and I haven’t been for a while, to be able to afford to go to events like that. Even if it’s club events that are $20. For that, my social life has probably suffered and I’m seen as some pathetic person who cannot get his life together.

And a lot of the people I go to university with are people who are in stable upper-middle class families, or people who are from rich families overseas. So they can easily afford to go to dinners and watch movies, and travel to places with their friends. When it comes to me, I’m never invited for the reason I’m too poor. So I’m never really invited to things. And a lot of them lack the understanding to know what it’s like for a university student from a lower class/working class family who got kicked out of home and is trying to make it on his own.

Sometimes it does seriously feel like I’m being discriminated by some omnipotent educational force for being the person of the social class that I am.

“Sorry, I’m busy with studying.”
I am aware that lot of people are usually busy with studying. But more than actually studying, people have been saying it as a reason to not have me speak to them. To all those people. FUCK YOU!  (yes I am swearing a lot in this article, delicious). When you say that, and then TWO HOURS LATER YOU POST UP PHOTOS ON FACEBOOK OF A WHOLE GROUP OF PEOPLE I TALK TO WITHOUT ME THERE.

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Then, you have the fucking nerve to say “hello” to me as you pass me on campus. The only thing stopping me from spitting on your face are the mints inside my mouth, which I paid for, falling out and I’d have wasted some of my few dollars on you. You’re not worth that.

You have no idea how bad and excluded that has actually made me feel. I’m not sure if it happens to many people at university. But it happens to me so many fucking times. It’s gone to the point I’m not going to continue visiting one of the clubs I’ve been visiting for two semesters because I’ve just made to feel excluded and as if I’m not going to make any friends there.

Also, the excuse of timetables clashing and between classes and outside of classes not being able to see each other is bullshit. It basically translates to “I can’t be fucked being your friend but I’ll pull you along anyway.”

It’s for these reasons that part of me has just given up on making connections with other people.

IN CONCLUSION
So, in essence. I am fed up with the culture at university. I’m sick of trying to put effort into friendships with people who aren’t interested or who aren’t even going to try. I’m sick of walking around campus and going to classes and feeling judged and disadvantaged because I haven’t had an as fortunate life as most students up until then. The only friends I have on campus a lot of the time are my textbooks. I’m sick of people telling me that “University are the best years of your life.”

Well, no, sometimes it seriously feels like they aren’t.

tl;dr – The people and culture at uni can be a manwhores.

My Discontents With The Homosexual Community

Before I start this post, I just want to clarify right now I am NOT making a homophobic post – I am a homosexual (I also love unicorns and rainbows) and I am outlining the experiences I have encountered in the past couple of years.

Well, I was studying on Arabic discourse practices for an essay for one of my subjects, and I got to thinking about my past experiences with men, and what has happened since I moved from the countryside to Melbourne. And I could not help but think to write this post for my new blog.

If you haven’t read this article yet, then I strongly suggest you do so, as it perfectly describes the current state in the gay community in a lot of places for me (and friends of mine who are also gay have stated that it appropriately fits their situation, too).

http://stopracismandhomophobiaongrindr.wordpress.com/2012/07/20/the-igays-are-way-too-sick-turn-off-the-life-support/

You will probably notice that this article mentions apps like Grindr. If you do not know already, Grindr is an app that a lot of gay males use to hook up with other gay guys (because as you know, it isn’t exactly acceptable at this point for a male to go up to another male in public and ask them if they are gay or straight because they thought said male looked good). Basically, if you log onto this app you will find a LOT of men alike to that described in the article I put above.

So basically, I like NEVER use Grindr or those kinds of apps anymore. Only if a decent seeming guy messages me and I hold an intellectual conversation will I consider meeting up for a very casual date.

If you read this article, you will find that the romanticised ideal of the gay man is the masc, gym fit, sane and sorted white male. And from my experience it is very much true. SO, if you don’t fit any of those categories, you’re this:
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Or this:
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Basically, also from my experience, the gay males from around where I live are oversexualised, objectifying and a lot of the time, disrespectful men (ESPECIALLY THE 50+ YEAR OLD MEN WHO MESSAGE ME PICTURES OF THEIR PENIS STRAIGHT OFF). I will proceed to go on here with a story from my past:

Early 2013. It was around when I turned 18. It was the first time I had been in an inner-city area for a while. Before then I lived in the countryside, a few hours east of Melbourne (in an area called East Gippsland). Being the Australian countryside, you can already get the idea that it is very hard to openly act gay – as you face prejudice from a lot of people who exist outside of metropolitan areas.  So therefore, I was not nearly as comfortable in my sexuality as I am now, and also I had very little self esteem in my appearance. Also, I was quite ignorant to what the community was like. I often make the mistake of thinking that people have the same level of respect for other’s feelings that I sometimes do.
So yeah, I came across Grindr, I got it, and I found a ~30 year old male and I thought he looked pretty nice. So after a bit of chatting, and him immediately giving me pictures of his penis (which I still find to be a bit tacky – I will go into that soon), I then decided to meet up with him to experiment and do some stuff. First time I would have properly touched another guy. So I ended up going to his place when we organised it, and immediately, he started coming onto me, and trying to take off my clothes, and then forcing me to rim his ass and suck his dick and swallow his sperm/semen. Not only being inexperienced, I am a big introvert, I was thinking “Oh lord, what the hell is going on here?”

AND HE KNEW I HAD DONE NOTHING WITH A GUY BEFORE, and yes he was still like this. RUDE!
And it is not an only occurrence, I shake my fist as I type this, as I have also come across a lot of men who have messaged me “I like to take virginity from young tight boys. It’s nice to be their first time.”
SORRY TO SAY IT, BUT TO SOMEONE WHO HASN’T HAD THEIR FIRST TIME, YOU SOUND LIKE A CREEPY PERV PREDATOR WITH A WHITE PEDO VAN.

The point of this story that I just wrote is that a lot of gay meet-ups (well, a lot I have experienced) are like EFTPOS transactions. Not kidding. You go in, you both get what you want sexually, you pay the other person by giving them what they want (like a quid pro quo situation as one male I came across said), and then KA-CHING, done, “Thank you come again!”, thrown out the front of the door with messy hair everywhere and your mouth tasting like cock if you didn’t bring breath mints with you.

I’ve had men literally force my mouth so deep into their dick I struggle to breathe.
I’ve had men not allow me to kiss them when they almost force me to give them oral, then after they make a mess, they’re out of my place in 5 seconds flat. The video there of a Simpsons scene describes it quite well:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TeFuk9ATpRY

Furthermore, the expectations that the gay community generally has on males is quite repulsive to me. Basically, as I mentioned previously, the other article accurately mentions the prefect ‘Adonis’ of the gay community. So basically, if you’re white, you love going to the gym, you get wasted at gay clubs all the time, you have a rancid stench of testosterone that can fill a stadium, and you live for instagram; you’re perfection. I’ve had a lot of decent gay males of non-caucasian heritage tell me that they feel inferior in the gay community because they’re not white.
*Breathes to calm down*
WHAT THE FUCKING HELL. ARRRRGGGG!
But also, these expectations fit the idea that acting feminine in any way is horrible. Forget the piña colada loving gay man in tight shorts that filled 1990s media. Many gay men these days cringe at the very mention of it, and hiss like a vampire who has seen a glint of sunlight.

I am a male and I wear foundation and concealer, okay. I do it because I like how it makes my skin look. My straight male friends don’t seem to have a problem with it. But as soon as a typical gay male who I could see as a dating candidate gets on the scene, they have a problem with me wearing cosmetics, applying fragrance, and dressing in clothes that aren’t chinos and a Ralph Lauren polo, and have resorted to measures of making me feel like crap to try and make me be the way THEY want me to be.
Like this Japanese guy I dated last month. He made me believe for a couple of weeks that it was going to work out between us. He told me he liked me, and did some little romantic things such as make me breakfast, put his arms around my waist from behind, and he even helped me with some of my Japanese homework. But then he said he couldn’t be with someone like me because of the clothes I wear (I wore a jeans and a shirt and a couple of necklaces when I was around him – for fucks sake). This is not an isolated incident though. I got the same crap a few months before that from a Thai guy I was almost going to enter a relationship with. It came down to how I dress. I have come to loathe the comment
“You would look so gorgeous if you did this.” “You would look so gorgeous if you didn’t do that.”
TRANSLATION:
“You could be attractive if you dropped your individuality and complied to my standards and became my puppet.”

I may only be 19, but I know that if you like someone, you like them for who they are. You don’t try and mold someone into a set checklist so you can then ‘tolerate’ them. And whilst I respect people have different taste, I am not attacking people for that, what I’m trying to say is that I prefer it if people would not try and enforce their checklist onto me. I’m me, love it or fuck off.

I have also had a lot of experiences of gay men calling me ‘weird’ for spending a Friday night in watching a TV series or reading a book. Gee, sorry for wanting to spend time alone. There are people in this world called INTROVERTS who sometimes prefer to just be alone in their own little world.
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Gosh, I swear sometimes it feels like this:
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Come on! We’re supposed to be the accepting community. LGBT people face enough crap, but yet we’re foisting a shitheap of manure upon one another much stronger than heterosexual people do, and creating this distinct feudal system filled with labels and standards at a high-school level of maturity.

I am sorry for such a long post, but yes. Had to get this off my chest. Thank you for reading.
From your resident Ursula.